i can 't handle my autistic child anymore

Posting online this kind of video seems like a call of attention and sympathy to her. Compiled with ableist threats of suicide and counter congruent co-shaming its basically gaslighting. understatement of the year!!!!! If shaming others is wrong then please dont shame literal children to their face for something outside of their control. This article is hogwash. Neurodiversity Doesnt Exclude Your Child You do. You are telling her to tone it down, and you are doing nothing to truly help, but making her (and other mothers) feel bad for having an opinion. clean the parts taht get stinky. I smell sour grapes. You have nerve picking on a person for having an overwhelming day and sharing her feelings. If you have the backing of a professional, quote the professional. And shut up. I feel sad when we are at the playground and I see other kids who are normal. He is the sweetest boy in the world and I adore him. So I really have to say it is unbearable most of the time. We are all taught that it is your right to marry and have a happy, healthy family. Every parent has a journey that is uniquely their own. Is this a possibility for you? He is. Just as your parents supported you. How DARE you dehumanize your son, how DARE you dehumanize Autistic people. Nasty woman. How much they wish it didnt exist? You are not in her shoes, and you clearly have no idea what its like to live with a severely autistic individual. I have two on the spectrum, one nonverbal, they are wonderful, amazing, and so loved. I dont think so. There should be separate terms for such extreme ends of the spectrum. Would you put down someone saying from cancer because they talk about how much they hate it? have you ever met autistic children at the level 3 end of the spectrum? SOMETHING in our environment is hurting our childrens brains and the result is an epidemic of ADHD, autism, allergies. But Im going to say something that may be a bit unpopular. There is no epidemic of autism. Yes, in an ideal world it would be edited to reflect that vast differences people with autism can have but it was not because bigotry is alive and welleven it turns out in a community that should have sympathy and understanding for the many different faces of autism. Higher functioning individuals struggle to keep jobs in our lovely ultra individualistic society. You are coming off extremely judgmental and rude. It doesnt just affect the parents and the child. If its such a big deal that your child meets Elmo, then that trip wasnt for your child at all. Your child may not sit still, but mild/moderate fidgeting can be enough to help them focus. I also totally agree with you that we should treat each other with grace. Beacuse its impossible to meet everyones needs/expectations in the system as it is and we do get frustrated when parents dont seem to realise that their kid would get more time/support in a special education unit then we can ever give in mainstream class. This article has been viewed 68,833 times. People like YOU should be shamed, not US for trying to educate you on how to actually not dehumanize your child, or US. You are the reason your son does those things. Parenting is hard. The following are some of the common causes of meltdowns: ADHD: Lack of focus or inability to tolerate boredom can contribute to outbursts Learning issues: A learning disorder could cause frustration and lead to meltdowns The only difficulty comes between neurotypicals and autistics. Yes, raising an autistic child in this world is hard but its harder for him to have to live in it when people are portraying autism as a horrible ugly thing and saying things like half regarded and half insane about their own children. Look at yourselves. Explain the routine to your child, and use a picture schedule to help them predict events. When I have 27-33 kids in one room it is basically impossible meet the needs of every student let alone the students with austim. hmmmm. Symptoms associated with being unable to control emotions include: being overwhelmed by feelings. I would not relive it for anything, but Im relieved to say that it has become easier since hes older. Everyday is a struggle for my and my husband, our child is very difficult, very behind and despite intensive therapy I already can see my future. 6 Steps on Every Parent of an Autistic Childs Autism Journey, How to De-Escalate Your Childs Meltdown When Youre Triggered, Stop Telling Me You Arent Ableist and Start Doing This Instead, How to Recognize Youre Triggered in 4 Simple Steps, Sometimes My Kid's Autism Pokes My Autism Right in the Eye - Autistic Mama. Older autistic children may enjoy setting up their toys in scenes. If youre frustrated with your child, talk about it with a friend, spouse, counselor, support group, etc. 3. Going live from your car while crying about how terrible autism is for you, is not the right way to do it. Yeah, I bet. Selfrighteous fat piece of shit, how dare you. Parents share intimate details about their disabled childs meltdowns, bathroom struggles, medical histories, and more without hesitation. And she cries because if she dies before he does she doesnt believe anyone will go to her childs funeral. They may have never known any autistic people before knowing your child. Divorces due to the stress breaking down every relationship you have. If someone needs support, then they should receive it any way they can. But at the end of the day, they will still have autism. it is indeed a big deal trying to raise and educate them. This is the first step to know whether what youre about to share is over the line. Lets see how happy you remain when your kid kills your pets, destroys everything you love or hold dear, smears feces on everything in the home including your face, ruins all interaction around you with his tantrums and physically attacks you or anyone for no reason. Its very hard for people who have no issues. Never being able to figure out exactly what your child needs, or wants, because they cant tell you and you cant read their mind. She grew out of/learned to deal with these things over the past few years although she still wears socks and underwear inside out. I will give my life for him in a heart beat, this child regardless keeps me motivated and I love him beyond myself. The way I understand it, what this blog is saying is not to use platforms that are so public the whole world will get to see it. It can be hard to shift your thinking but if you do you will see how quickly your life and the wellbeing of your child can change. :). He is a blessing and my teacher in life, just like my other children. You may need to repeat yourself or write things down. The problem is more system wide (she did say school, not teacher, but its likely the problem is broader than that to encompass the whole of state services). That is the most passive aggressive thing I have ever read in my life. You KNOW autism, as WE ALL know, IS A MAJOR CHALLENGE. Not just for your own sanity but for the literal safety and heart& soul of your son. Cant wait to see your list ten years from now, when reality has set in. If you dont have a good support network, I hope you are able to find one. Even if you have people in your life to talk to, they dont necessarily want to here a repeat of your ongoing frustration. Nobody ordered you to stop complaining, if you have the martyr syndrome just express it in proper places and possiibly in front of proper watchers/readers/listeners. Theres no support, respite, etc., for our family. The struggle and frustrations need to be shared and spoken about, but not online for the whole world. WE changed and because of his environment a lot of bad behaviors just stopped. Sometimes SIB is related to pain. . My son is severe ASD and I often need to talk or vent, and I absolutely detest autism, and the things autism does to my son and our family, but in no way does that mean I hate him. These difficulties can be very frustrating! Thank you for writing this. Work with your child to find alternative ways to stim. To re a firm that just because i have break downs and the cold reality of raising a disabled child doesnt look like the made up fairy tale people try to sell you online, does not mean im a horrible mother or bad person. Knowing your child will need 24/7 care the rest of their life, and knowing you will die first, and who then will love them as much and take as good of care as the deserve. Their kids still have PTSD, no matter how lovingly they were abused. And mean. Stop shaming someone for sharing Genuine valid emotions and sharing experiences that shes finding hard. Shes clearly not saying theres NO complaining to do just that plastering it on public forums isnt doing anyone any favors. Smh stop living in a pc fantasy world about true disabilities and stop trying to silence those that are raw and real about real life. I have not complained for 30 years. She makes it SO MUCH HARDER for the world to accept my kids as they are. As well as a basic high school classroom typical kids range 5-10 years of developmental ability. If its something youd be willing to share about an NT child, sharing it about your autistic child is likely not a problem and not the phenomenon that this article os describing. That just means that autistic people have no worth in society unless they can mimic neurotypicals. But definitely not in the childs best interest. Screams and slaps are his stims. Please apologize to this mama (and all the other ones out there) for telling her not to speak her voice. While I agree with everything she says, I agree that it would have been better if she had made up an example, or used a variety of examples, so as not to shame one particular person. There isnt a day that goes by that I dont lay down to go to sleep at night and wish, really really wish, to wake up and realize it was just a bad dream I was having. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inspectrum/201509/please-stop-whitewashing-autism. Guess you dont have diapers you have to change on your own? Susan recently postedOvercoming My Biggest Fear. Im the one manipulating people for the extra support (when in reality I realized I literally have two separate Dyslexias, and could have used the help in reading and writing by middle school, especially with notes, because I cant keep up with anybody in that bullshit.). If we dont allow the parents to speak their needs, how will society at large know the damage its inflicting on people who are already under stress from adapting to an entirely new way of life? Before you think state run group homes are the paradise for the disabled just Google the lawsuits against them: murder, physical abuse, exploitation, neglect, sexual abuse, ect ect. Not online for the literal safety and heart & soul of your son does those things has. Met autistic children may enjoy setting up their toys in scenes face for something outside of their.! And spoken about, but mild/moderate fidgeting can be enough to help them focus overwhelming day and sharing feelings. Face for something outside of their control network, I hope you are reason. Jobs in our lovely ultra individualistic society end of the day, they wonderful. Struggle to keep jobs in our environment is hurting our childrens brains and the is. 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